Flush The Koran

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Starting a Riot

Somebody issue a fatwa. Fast.*

I ran out of toilet paper this morning so I used what was available next to the can: A copy of the Koran.

Specifically pgs. 137-138 of Arthur J. Arberry's 1955 The Koran Interpreted. The part where Allah condemns the J-O-Os. Then I got the last few dingleberries off using pg. 139-140 where it says, "They are unbelievers who say, 'God is the Messiah, Mary's son," and where it says, "They are unbelievers who say, 'God is the Third of Three....If they refrain not from what they say, there shall afflict those of them that disbelieve with a painful chastisement."

The problems with wiping your ass with an old copy of the Koran are manifold. For instance, the shit doesn't really cling to the pages in the same way as it does to your every day TP. So you have to wipe like twice as many times. This leaves severe Quran induced ass rash and doesn't leave you feeling quite as fresh as you'd like. Ouch.

Then there's the flushing problem. Do not attempt to flush more than one page of shit-stained Quran down the toliet at once. Trust me.

Stay tuned. This whole thing will culminate with lighting the Koran on fire, and seeing if pissing on it will put it out. If not, I may have to put the whole thing in toilet. Safety first, that's my motto.

I'll fire up the old digital cam if you don't believe me. The first ever photoblogging to start a riot!

Also, if you live in Italy, please send this to the fascist state prosecutor for the city of Bergamo, Armando Grasso.

RELATED from Goldstein who's a lot less offensive.

UPDATE: Wait, so are you saying there were no riots after all? A fake story leads to fake deaths? I feel so disillusioned.

*An experiment in tolerance.



At 6:27 AM, Blogger CDR Salamander said...

I stand in awe.

Like the first time I saw "David" in Florance. Like the first time I met a Kucinich supporter.

You may now return to your ululating.

Your loyal Kafir,

At 12:18 PM, Blogger A Free Man said...

Well, I dunno if I approve of you wiping your ass on pages of the koran!
Personally I use the pages of the koran as my dog's toilet. She is a beautiful cocker spaniel, you should see her merrily shitting on those koran pages, makes me sooo proud!

At 12:18 PM, Blogger A Free Man said...

By the way I've linked you to my blog, I love your site!

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At 12:25 PM, Blogger English kaffir. said...

lol you might find this useful.


At 12:28 PM, Blogger English kaffir. said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 12:31 PM, Blogger English kaffir. said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 10:18 PM, Blogger Meme said...

I am very shocked over this subject of yours, it’s not only disturbing, it’s personally offending. You have no respect towards other people's religions whatsoever and dejectedly you’re incredibly ignorant. How can you even say such things, its not only felonious towards me but to various other people. You should know from now that Islam is the fastest growing religion in the world and no matter what you’re trying to do its only showing you in the utmost unworthy picture in the eyes of many. The way you think is not only appalling but will get you nowhere in life. I'm extremely disappointed in this, and I assure you that I won't stoop as low of a level as you and disgrace whatever religion you have. It’s in fact amusing how a grown person like you can behave like this. What do you even expect getting out of this? Rather then making yourself look like an indecorous Islam hater. Ohh and "A free man" what you said is very disturbing and disgraceful; you should be ashamed of yourself for writing this.

Furthermore to the author of this post, I know you will probably not show my post, but if you don't, it will only rather show how pathetic you are by showing good comments towards such an ignorant post rather then reveling the truth. I really do hope you change this ignorant manner towards the Quran. It’s a rather sacred thing in our religion and you have no right whatsoever to be making such ridiculous posts humiliating the Quran.

Sincerely, Sarah

At 9:48 AM, Blogger Muslim said...

These pictures are only a bad idea and the Quran is the words of God Almighty it wanted to argue argues in the speech, not paper

At 9:48 AM, Blogger Muslim said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At 8:57 AM, Blogger Amina said...

This is sad. It's hard to believe that there are such narrow-minded, disgusting and disrespectful people like you in this day and age. Regardless of what religion Quran represents, it is still a respectful book. Imagine if someone has a blog about Flushing the Bible or the Torah down the Toilet, how would others feel? If not anything, you should at least realize that it is a book that sends out a nice message just like the Bible and Torah. I would be upset and heart-broken if someone wiped thier stool with the Ten Commandments. This is simply pathetic. I feel bad for you because you will never know what great messages books like Quran contain because you are close-minded and corrupted by anything the media says.

At 11:38 AM, Blogger Boaster said...

Thank you for doing what I've wanted to do for years now. We can look to Islam as an example of what will happen if we allow religious fanatascists to take over our country. And Islam's treatment of women is repulsive--I find it hard to believe anyone in western society would defend it.

If we could get rid of ALL religion, the world would be a far better place.

At 4:41 PM, Blogger uqbah23 said...

wow. what you're saying is really disturbing and the comments from others that support your truly pointless misunderstanding article. Do you have any idea what words are in that book? The holy book Torah is in that book. Prophet Jesus is as well in that book, so is Abraham and Moses. If you flush it down the toilet or burn a copy of it, you're burning and disrespecting the Torah, Jesus, and Moses. Would you want to do that? If I was given a holy bible, I would never treat it that way. I don't know, you might be an aitheist (which is dumb)... As for boaster, you said you find it hard to believe anyone in western society would defend it. Well, how do muslim women survive? we are all human you know, we have feelings, we have a point where we just can't take it. Well, if in Islam that was the case, why are there muslim women? Please, think before you say! Have respect for all religion, no religion can possibly be so cruel.

At 8:38 PM, Blogger iamsickofpccrap said...

I appreciate that we are all different, but when you come to this country with NO respect of my culture, well, take your ass out to the ocean and jump in, baby. I am sure I can forgive that you are Mulims, but I cannot forgive rights-stomping liberals.

Let's face it: America is being "diversified" into a faceless, voiceless, tasteless, and banality that makes vanilla seem like a chili pepper. I appreciate what our diversity brings to the table, but unity is what we need to protect ourselves from terrorists, foreign and domestic.

And who are the domestic terrorists? Hmmm, let me see... How about the World Trade Organization? How about those who supported NAFTA? NATO? These organizations couldn't give a rat's ass about democracy-they are ALL about the STATUS QUO.

So, in reality, maybe it's not about our religious or racial differences; maybe it's about stopping those who decide that we are merely pawns catering to the world's elite.

In their eyes, we are no religion, no race, and only one color: THE GREEN OF MONEY. THEIR MONEY. So, while I may have my prejuidices, I try to forgive myself and treat people like people first; or, treat them like mad dogs when they choose to be animals.

When you mistake me for a lamb to be taken to the slaughter, the grave shall be your final teacher, swiftly approaching with ruler in hand to take your measure.

When you treat me like a human, permit me to thank you by returning the favor.

At 10:12 AM, Blogger Belgique3600 said...

Theire are more women converting to the Islam then men.
You can not say that America or Europe is the best place for women, it's not. Think, theire are so many girls insecure because of the media. You see,ex. Madonna, so old, having no rimpels, Jeniffer Lopez having twins 1 month later she lost al the "babyfat". . . Women in Europe and America are dying to look like them, men want women to look like them. Constantly botox, shopping, lipo-suction... It is deffenitly NOT the world I want to live in as a woman. Islam gave me my identity, proud, honour, happiness, intelligence, ... You can not see that side of the Islam, actually the only side of Islam.
I have no idea how you can hate Islam THAT much. I really can't.

Sorry for the spelling

At 4:13 PM, Blogger nothere said...

Uses for the Koran by Muslims

If it is once the Koran it is always the Koran

Years ago when they printed the Koran they used lead type. When the type is worn out it is recycled into other things. Like lead ingots melted down and used to chink cast iron drainpipes for house whole waste from the bathroom in other words human waste (urine and feces) on the Koran.
Like lead for stain glass windows for Christian churches

Now days they print the Koran with aluminum lithograph. That aluminum is recycled into a host of things. Like aluminum bedpans for hospital for human waste, Aluminum screen doorframes and every one has pushed opened a screen door with there foot. Like aluminum tread plate for the floor or steps to walk on. Like aluminum glasses for drinks including alcohol. Like aluminum drink cans, you have stepped on them with you foot have you not and tossed them on the ground.

These are just some of the thing the Muslim do with the Koran.

So I thing the people in the Muslim country are a bunch of hypocrite
If this is what they are doing to there Koran while comdiming and wagging war on the rest of the world for not believing in there God.

At 9:38 PM, Blogger ilya said...


I can personally find SO MANY contradictions in the quran and PROVE to you how FAKE islam is, and how mohamed is not a prophet AT ALL!!! jesus was a prophet, Moses was a prophet, Abraham was a prophet, mohamed was just another person trying to make something of his own. Jews DID NOT KILL MOHAMED! he ate of the lamb, but died 3 years later, if he was a real prophet would the lam have not spoken to him saying it was poisoned? a real prophet knows when he will die, if mohamed was a prophet would he have not known he would die in such a manner? i have done years of extensive research to the credibility of the Torah, the Bible, and the quran, i am sorry to say but there are way too many discrepencies, and i am not saying this because i dislike muslim people, no, not the case at all, but if you really look into it and ask questions, the imams wont be able to answer you but will say it is blasphemous to ask such a question, but if the religion was true then any question would have an answer. Judaism was the initial religion, which then branched out to Christianity, where islam came from is a mystery, besides, mohamed said G-d spoke to him, is there ANY proof at all? If i came to a bunch of people and said hey, G-d spoke to me and said to start a new religion ie: The Holy Yankees or w/e, would u believe me? no you would think im nuts! first of all there were no witnesses to claim that he actually heard G-d, thirdly if he was a real prophet and a holy man why would he curse the jews and christians? would he not ask allah to guide them and to bless them?

if any self respecting muslim can answer these questions below, then its proof that islam is real, if not then you people should seriously stop blowing yourselves up for a false prophet.

(my email is duracandid@yahoo.com please feel free to debate and argue this topic with me personally.)

1) If Muhammad were a real prophet of God, why didn't he catch the poison before he ate it?

2) If you believe that it was God's will for Muhammad to have eaten the poison, along with Bishr, why then did Muhammad try to get well? Even Gabriel prayed for Muhammad to get better, but Allah didn't answer that prayer either.

3) Why did Gabriel not know the will of Allah? Why would Gabriel pray if Allah had decided death?

4) Why did Muhammad force the other Muslims to drink the medicine he was given? One of them was one of his wives, and she was fasting. He forced her to break her fast and drink the medicine as well. Doesn't this sound vindictive and petty?

5) Why, when just before his death, did Muhammad have to utter a curse upon the Christians and the Jews? Wouldn't it have been better for Muhammad to pray for guidance for them? This also sounds like a jealous, bitter prayer to Allah. Muhammad prayed for and uttered curses instead of asking Allah to guide people.

6) Why would pleurisy, which is a normal infection of the lung membrane, be considered to be from Satan, but being poisoned would not be from Satan?

At 9:57 PM, Blogger ilya said...

one more thing, if islam is so beautiful and so peaceful, then why do you people blow yourselves up? it is stated in the quran that you can only kill a person when they are making you convert to another religioin, which is not the case here, you people live in your country, in your caves or w/e and no one bothers you, but you HATE america sooo mcuh, but yet you people still come here and take advantage of all the freedoms you will never ever have in your countries.

You people say "how can someone be so naive and stupid and hate muslim people so much" i say how can you hate LIFE so much? you blow up innocent men, women, and children, remember 9/11? Madrid? Mumbai? you people have no regard for human life whatsoever!

if islam was all about peace like you say it is, you would not try to kill people to prove your point, you would do it with words, with art, with beautiful poems, with music, and not with suicide bombers and explosive in your shoes killing innocent people!


how much hatred can you muslim people have towards the whole world? why would you want to convert the whole world to islam? maybe people dont want the shit your peddling? instead of shoving explosives up your ass why not try reading a book? or maybe investing that money in making your living environment better? maybe a real school where you dont have some shit face imam teaching kids to blow themseleves up and instead have a teacher to teach math, reading, writing, and maybe advance in the world? get out of your caves and open your eyes people.... a G-d would want His children to advance, prosper, and love one another, even if they are not the same religion! it all just goes to show that islam is far from peaceful, it is filled with blood, death, and violence! if this were not true then you muslims would not be so violent like your quran and your imams who teach you only one thing: DEATH TO AMERICA, DEATH TO ISRAEL, DEATH TO THE INFIDELS, DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH! THE WHOLE QURAN AND WHAT YOUR IMAMS PREACH IS DEATH!!!!!!

At 6:18 AM, Blogger Edouardo said...

You have more courage than anyone who says that "Islam is a religion of Peace". These blood-soaked, sharp-toothed murderous monkeys from Hell need to be exposed.

Women like Sarah who defend Moslems should wait until their circumcision to express their opinions.

And those who condemn anyone for speaking the truth - Even if we are insane, even if we are blinded by anger ... does not mean we are wrong.

At 7:26 PM, Blogger HolyFlush said...

Great article. You can't burn them, but you can flush the Qu'ran and any other holy book at http://flushaholybook.com

At 12:32 AM, Blogger ash_alliance said...

Well according to Quran all of us should be burning in hell after getting assassinated by the believers...I am a Hindu,although i don't believe in any religion but I respect them and their belief...but "Allah" and his prophets are crossing the lines...A god so jealous and selfish is nothing less than a Satan,and thus of course what else can we expect from his followers

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